Dating can be awkward at any age, it’s safe to say that when you’re over 40, the dating game changes significantly. You aren’t imagining it. (Fact: over one-third of Americans over 40 are single, and more than 25 million of them are women according to Dating with Dignity.) It can also be an adventure. But women should remember that by keeping an open mind and remembering that age is just a number, women in their 40s can have the greatest adventure of their life.
If someone told you that you would have a better chance of landing a date now than when you were younger, would you believe him/her? Sometimes being a Single Mom can be a challenging task to accomplish in itself, and if you add the task of Dating to it, then Phew! Life can become miserable. A woman in her 40s has lived her life fully up until now, and it is quite obvious that she would have had at least one serious relationship till now which includes marriage. She might even be interested to make you meet her children at one point in time. As a single mom dating can get exceedingly tough, you would want to know that a prospective boyfriend can interact well with your children but making the introduction is a tricky situation. This situation can be a deal-breaker.
Numerous men in their 40s perhaps majority of them look at women over 40 in two ways; firstly they either love the fact that they’re older and more mature and know what they want and how to handle the men they’re with, and secondly they feel that women over 40 are too old, single for a reason, and most likely difficult to deal with.
There are many women over the age of 40 who look much younger, perhaps they look like when they were 30, hence women at any age especially when they are in their 40s appreciate a compliment about looking great. They do Pilates and yoga, they’re energetic, they take care of their skin and are into healthy eating. However, they don’t want to be compared to a 20- or 30-year-old. After all, they’re 40 and more mature.
Women over 40 still crave romance. As a matter of fact, they want more romance today than they did ten or twenty years ago when they were in their 20s or 30s. It’s not about ‘casual hook-ups’ anymore they want to be wooed and they want to feel a connection. Many of these women have full-time careers and are looking for that guy to make them feel special and appreciated after the workday is over. Interestingly, for Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds.
The onus to understand women who are in their 40s should be on men as well. Women in their 40s & single can be completely different from young girls who are perhaps in their 20s. A woman in her 40s is pretty serious about her dating game, she won’t indulge in procrastination, and she will tell notify you about her intentions. A woman in her 40s isn’t scared to speak her mind (inside and outside of the bedroom), and because she knows what she wants, she will always express her desires clearly.
A recently undertaken study also points to the fact that women in their 40s should choose wisely because this could be it. “The divorce rate roughly came down by 18% from 2008 to 2018, with age as the number one consideration factor. Fewer people are ‘settling down’ at a younger age to gain more life experience, financial stability, or a stronger sense of self. This means that, your 40-year-old dating field will likely have more players looking to get hitched, and if that’s the case, don’t enter into a serious relationship hastily” says Kelly Campbell, PhD, Professor of Psychology at CSUSB. “Marrying in your 40s, especially if it’s for the first time, means you have fewer years till death do you part, so this really could be The One,” says Campbell. “As such, you’ll want to make the best possible choice.”
So, in a lot of ways, dating in your 40s and beyond can be completely different than dating in your 20s and 30s. You’re at a different stage in life, and you’ve been through countless experiences since then. Every successful and independent women in her 40s will tell you that living alone isn’t all that bad. While some pieces of wisdom are universal, it’s also good to get advice and perspectives that are relevant to you and where you are in your life. Also, if you are casually looking for some fundamental Relationship advice, you can have a look at Work\Top 18 Fundamental Relationship Advice for you.docx. But, if you’re a woman dating in her 40s, these following tips are just for you. Here are some of the best dating tips for women over 40:
1. Make sure that you are ready.
According to the Pew Research Center, divorce rates have increased by 14% for adults between 40 and 49, and for adults over 50, the increase is 109%. If you’ve just gone through a divorce or breakup, it’s probably best to not jump right into dating. The same can be said if you’re single and have just experienced something tragic in your life like the loss of a family member or job. Immediately getting into a relationship will just be a distraction from what’s really going on.
2. Have clear dating goals.
Always make sure the person you’re dating knows your dating goals. There’s a myth that it’s more attractive to act cool and pretend you’re not looking for anything serious. Apparently, admitting to wanting something more could be a turnoff. What the heck? That’s like walking into a clinic and not telling your doctor what you’re feeling because you’re worried he’ll feel too much pressure to cure you. It’s the same twisted logic. If someone is truly interested in something special, they won’t get turned off from knowing you want the same. Anyone who does has commitment issues. You don’t need to these dysfunctional narcissists in your life. Let their therapist deal with them.
3. Know your deal-breakers.
We can all be too picky sometimes when it comes to dating, but try to separate your surface-level deal breakers with your deeper deal breakers. For example, someone liking the same movies as you isn’t really a must-have is it? But it’s probably important if they have the same opinions about religion, children, and where you want to live. Think about the qualities and beliefs you want your future date or partner to possess that you can’t live without, and then go forward from there.
4. Join a couple of dating sites or apps.
“Nothing turns off a new person more than hearing you rag about somebody else of their same-sex,” says Fran Walfish, MD, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist. Remember that your partner can always tell that you are the one who is ruining the relationship.
Online dating is one of the best and most efficient ways to meet people if you’re over 40, but you don’t want to put all your eggs into one basket by joining just one site/app. numerous dating platforms are meant just for older adults, and many of the popular platforms really know how to cater to this audience. The benefit of joining multiple dating sites is that you get to try out different features and have the chance to be exposed to even more types of people.
5. Look beyond your type.
Each woman has her own specific tastes and preferences. Now, the dating preferences can be implied as other person’s education, appearance, his lifestyle, etc. However, women in their 40s who are single should not put constraints on themselves. For example, they shouldn’t say that they’ll only date men who are tall or men who are millionaires. You are mature women therefore you should even look up to men who you usually wouldn’t have dated in your 20s. Dating can get weird this way but honestly speaking you would enjoy more if you know that there is something conspicuous about your date, and that you both have different opinions about certain things.
6. Try to make the first move.
I think most of us can agree that the guy shouldn’t always have to make the first move when it comes to dating and relationships. Yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there, but most of the time making the first move pays off big time. Try sending the first message, asking for the date before he does, or going in for a kiss if it feels right. More than likely, your date will appreciate it and be attracted to you for your initiative.
7. Know that every date is not going to be perfect.
It’s easy to get your hopes up, especially with online dating. Their profile seems just right, and they’re saying a lot of great things. Then you meet in person, and they’re just doesn’t seem to be any chemistry. It happens. Don’t let it get you down. Just as you would with most things in life, dust yourself off and try again. Every single date isn’t going to be a home run. Instead of focusing on whether this person is the one, just have fun and enjoy getting to know someone new.
8. Don’t talk about your ex too much.
If you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, you’ll inevitably bring it up on a date at some point, but try to keep the ex to a minimum. Your new date may think you still care for him or her romantically or that you‘re holding a grudge and aren’t ready to date. You want a fresh start, and you want to set the right tone for this date and possibly a future relationship.
9. Remember age is just a number, really.
To be honest, there are no hard-and-fast rules for dating in your 40s. In fact, there are no hard and fast rules for dating, in general. As long as you’re enjoying yourself, being honest, and not hurting anyone else, you’re on the right track. So forget about any preconceived notions you may have about dating at “a certain age.” The number is irrelevant. You can date whomever you want, wear whatever you want, go wherever you want, and everything else in between.
10. Stop caring too much.
Easier said than done, obviously. But there’s truth to this whole not-caring thing. Good things come to those who have even better things to care about. That’s where your thinking is wrong. If your biggest care in life is finding love that means your biggest priority isn’t YOU. People who have active, satisfying lives are the most inspiring and attractive people. But if you’re always in self-pity mode, sulking around and hating your singleness, you’re not going to attract positive people.
People you’ve just met don’t like feeling responsible to renew your faith in dating. You’re not an empty vessel who needs to be rescued, so take care of yourself first! When you’re 40 and single, focus on being fabulously 40 and single. This mindset will empower you to date with more confidence.
11. Always create and attract positive energy.
Positive people attract each other—and yes, The Law of Attraction is real. Newsflash to any skeptics or anti-spiritualists out there, the Law of Attraction really is a LAW—like actually, its quantum physics!
“But let’s not bore you with the nerdy details and keep it simple: Brain imaging studies prove that when we feel someone’s amazing energy, our brain mirrors those feelings, as though you are actually doing these things,” says Award-winning Neuroscientist, Srinivasan Pillay in Huffington Post.
12. Avoid one night stands.
Sure, one night stands can be hot. Some singles believe that they can have it all: relish the thrills of one-nighters and still keep their hopes open for something deeper. There’s only one problem with this logic…
Again, we’ll revisit The Law of Attraction. You get what you put out. So if you’re indulging in meaningless sex, you shut down your relationship-attracting energy. You’re not genuinely practicing the lifestyle of someone who values love, making you more unlikely to find it.
13. Forget about the past.
Everyone has dating problems. Don’t advertise yours. When you’re dating, set the negativity aside and put your best self forward. No matter how bad the baggage may be, don’t talk about it. Or imagine how you’d feel, listening to someone air their dirty laundry. Do you want to hear about how their dad’s in jail or that their landlord is a psycho? These stories don’t make your life seem more interesting; they make you seem unstable. Even minor stuff, like why you hate your ex, should be off-limits.
14. Avoid Mr. or Miss Player on dating apps.
Sifting through the nonsense is easy. Tons of people, both men and women, complain about using dating apps at 40. But usually, it’s not the apps it’s your judgment that needs a little work. You’re just not seeing the signs.
The clearest signs that someone may be a player are revealed in the first five minutes of chatting. Here’s a big one: if they say they’re only casually looking to date, believe them. You won’t magically change their mind. Here’s another sign: if they’re overly flirty or worse, ask for sexy pics. Just delete these people. Unless they’re asking you thoughtful questions about your career, values, and interests, forget them.
Stop cutting people so much slack. Don’t ever think that you need to dole out more chances because you might regret losing out on potential. There’s no potential with these clowns and you’re not desperate enough to flush away your time finding out. Instead, look at the truth right in front of you. It’ll bring you closer to finding what you desire.
15. Believe in actions, not words.
Age-old and foolproof, the rule of seeking actions over words never gets stale. Just because you’re 40, the singles don’t magically get designated with a maturity badge or a diploma in honesty. So stay sharp when you date and don’t take people’s words so seriously. They might claim to want a serious, meaningful relationship, but how do you know? They might even dazzle you with tales of their noble integrity or sob stories about how their ex hurt them. Maybe they seem super sincere when they say they’re looking for the one. Take it with a grain of salt, and wait and see if their actions match up to their words.
